And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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