i need an iv and a liver transplant
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
