dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
