Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
