Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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