Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
