i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
