Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When are your genitals available?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
