I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Randomize
