Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
