he wants to bone in the snuggie
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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