Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
