we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
