I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
