dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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