Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
