Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
