worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
