I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
