if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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