I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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