Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
