So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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