Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
