Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
