Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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