peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
