dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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