Umm I'm too high to move.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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