Screwed.edu
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
