I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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