is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
