I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
