If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
