Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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