OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
