the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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