You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You ate ashes out of my bong
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
