areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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