im about as happy as oj after his trial
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
