I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
