she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
