Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
