I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
