She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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