The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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