i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
