i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if i died would you start the facebook group?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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