After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
