You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
