Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
