I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
